In the past two years, three young men have been lost to suicide in Cherie Hamilton’s family, and just weeks ago she nearly lost her son.
“I am still fighting for treatment so he does not become the next family member we say goodbye to,” says Hamilton, a member of the Lascelle family.
Hamilton and son Kyle are the administrators of a new Facebook group called Mental Health Matters. Created when his brother was rushed by ambulance to hospital after a suicide attempt, the group, hopes Kyle, will help change the way mental illnesses are dealt with.
Kyle says his family is frustrated with not getting help for someone who clearly suffers from mental illness. He sees it as a case of not enough money, not enough psychiatrists and long wait times.
He is frustrated that, even though his brother, 25-year-old Chase, told a Saskatoon psychiatrist he still felt suicidal once he had been treated for the physical effects of the attempt, the doctor was prepared to send him home.
His mom said, “I had two doctors tell me. ‘He’s already got that thought pattern, there’s nothing we can do for you, we are sending you home.’”
Basically, she said, they are saying, “You take him home to finish the act.”
She is incredulous when she says, “We heard it from the doctor at St. Paul’s [Hospital], we heard it from the psychiatrist in emergency at [Royal University Hospital] and it’s, like, that is not okay. Take our children home to finish the act? How do they know because nobody ever tried to treat him!”
Cherie says their family is not alone in feeling frustrated. There are already more than 900 members from across the country who have joined their Facebook group Mental Health Matters.
“They are sharing their own struggle, families reach out sharing their struggles, people sharing their own struggle with mental illness and asking for advice and some people who aren’t even struggling are sharing information on strategies,” says Cherie. “It’s actually quite remarkable to see. When Kyle and I started it, I don’t think either of us ever expected to see such a response, which shows so much how it's needed.”
Talking about suicide within one’s family is not easy, but Cherie says her family is willing to share its story if it helps save more lives. Within a group of four first cousins, three have lost sons to suicide, and her own son has made the attempt.
“We lost Gregory to suicide two years ago,” says Cherie in a Mental Health Matters post. “He had never received any long term services. This January we lost our 15-year-old family member to suicide. This came as a shock to all of us because we had no idea he was struggling … On March 12 of this year, only six weeks after Ash’s funeral, we lost Joe to suicide. There had been signs for Joe and only two weeks before his suicide he had been taken to Mental Health. He was seen by a doctor and then released. The doctor released Joe to the family and the family believed the doctor that all was OK. That was not the case and we had to say goodbye to another young man, he was only 18 with his whole life ahead of him.”
The Lascelle family has been rocked by three suicides plus Chase’s attempt. Cherie explains her first cousin’s son Gregory was 21 when he was lost to suicide. That was two years ago. He had struggled since childhood and had never received any long term services, she said.
The son of cousins Neil and Michelle was lost in January. Ash was 15, says Cherie.
Her cousin Michael’s son Joe, 18, was lost only six weeks later. Like her son, Joe had been struggling and had been seen by a doctor and released.
Suicides among the Lascelles were part of the reason sports broadcaster Michael Landsberg brought his #SickNotWeak presentation to the Battlefords earlier this year. He encouraged people to talk about mental illness and seek help if they were struggling.
That’s great, say Cherie and Kyle, but there is a need for more help. They hope Mental Health Matters will be a vehicle through which they can encourage people to advocate for more funding, beds and counselling, longer admissions for proper diagnosis and support for them and family when they are discharged.
If it’s about money, says Kyle, it’s clear that “a more proactive mental health system would save money because fewer people would be using drugs because they are trying to self-medicate.”
Cherie and husband Rob, plus Chase and his siblings, although close, have been struggling as a family since he was about 15. Cherie says at a young age Chase was diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety, and he slipped into self-medicating with drugs and alcohol.
“Chase’s struggle has really caused a lot of hardships in the family. It hasn’t been easy and we are frustrated, and sometimes when you are dealing with it as a family, gosh, you just want to walk away. That’s not right and I feel horrible for saying that but I feel so tired,” says Cherie. “He seems so self destructive, and I know he doesn’t mean to be, but he has an illness. It’s frustrating for a family and you are struggling alone.”
Cherie says, “I had no problem admitting my son struggled with a drug addiction, but did not share openly that my son struggled with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts,” says Cherie. “They were the underlying cause of his addiction but due to the stigma with mental health it was easier to say he struggled with addiction.”
It’s been a difficult road.
“We have been trying to help him get services for the past 10 years.”
Cherie says she even went to a judge to get a warrant for Chase to be taken by police to the Battlefords Mental Health Centre where she hoped he would be compelled to stay for an assessment. But it wasn’t to be. When he was escorted to the centre, he was informed he was given the option of signing himself in so that he could leave whenever he wanted.
“What do you think he did?”
He signed himself out the next day.
“He signs himself in and next day he leaves because he can,” says Cherie. “I just went through going to the judge, going to the police – the system is flawed. Why aren’t the psychiatrists keeping them in against their will to give them treatment? They don’t even know how bad they are struggling.”
She adds, “If they are not handling them at 13, 14, 15, then we are starting to see – you look at our town – all the drug addiction problems we are facing.”
In one of his posts, Kyle’s frustration with the system as it is and his passion for changing the system is underlined.
“Our minds are the most unique thing in the world. Our minds are unique because they can make a heaven out of hell and hell out of heaven. That being said isn’t it sad that our society, and our government cares more about physical health rather then mental health. Most people don’t speak about their mental health, why is this? This is because what is in the mind cannot be seen, the only person who knows what is being thought is the person thinking. So people feel like they will be judged or feel like it’s not being taken as serious as it should be. They feel as though they may be crazy. But there has to be a time where we speak openly about this. We need more help for people struggling with mental illness. This doesn't just effect the people suffering with the illness. This affects the family and friends who are standing with them. We are in dire need of mental health practices and support in our society and if we don’t, we will continue to see the devastation to families and friends that we see today.”
Kyle was appalled by the way his brother was treated after he recovered from his suicide attempt. After having been discovered by his grandmother, with whom he lived, Chase was rushed to Battlefords Union Hospital where he had to be put on life support and airlifted by Stars air ambulance to the ICU unit at St. Paul’s Hospital in Saskatoon. He was released from St. Paul’s to Royal University Hospital where the family waited for six hours only to be told he was fine and was being released.
Cherie says Chase’s grandmother refused to be satisfied with that and eventually it was agreed he would be admitted to the Irene and Leslie Dubé Centre for Mental Health.
But, Cherie says, she was told there would be no counselling for him.
It seems only perseverance saved Chase from the opportunity to “complete the act.”
“If I had walked away that day,” Cheri says. “I don’t think he’d be here today.”
Chase is now receiving treatment out of province. The Hamiltons have found a place for him where his addictions and mental health will both be addressed.
It will cost money, Cherie says, but they will find a way to pay.
Meanwhile, they plan to keep Mental Health Matters up and operating.
Kyle and Cherie say they don’t know why many health professionals seem unwilling or unable to help, but they want to see big changes.
