A while ago, I read a blog post that was too good not to be shared with a teacher or principal.
Immediately, I started to write an email to a principal I had once worked with. Then my day got busy and the email didn't get sent. Eventually, I had the time to polish up this email and send it on its way. But I decided to sleep on it. Sometimes, I regret acting on my impulses. I waited to see how my words sounded in the morning.
After waking up to a new day, I decided to complete and send off this unsent email. Should I? Shouldn't I? How would it be received? Done thinking! SEND.
In the millisecond it takes to send your words off into a world where you cannot take them back again, the deed was done. No time for second guessing myself. My day walked in the door and I forgot what I had just done.
The day got busy and I had a slight twinge of regret when I didn't receive an immediate response from my email. Then I subconsciously filed it away under "best of intentions gone awry" and stopped worrying about it.
At one point in the day, I reminded myself it is best not to keep score. If a person expects every single action to be reciprocated in kind, they will live a life of subconsciously recording "what I have done?" and comparing it to "what I have received in return?".
You simply can't win at that game. Because you never quite know when a small deed has made an impact.
Sometimes you receive an immediate response. Other times, there may be a slight delay. Then there are times when you truly have no idea how much of a difference you have made until years later. I can only guess there may be even more times when you simply never know. The odd time, you don't "score" at all. In fact, I have been handed the odd "penalty" from time to time.
What I have learned, is I am the one who reaps the biggest reward in the end. Simply by doing what feels right at the time, with little importance (other than not wanting to anger, offend or hurt) placed on "winning" an appropriate response.
I have also learned everyone construes actions and written word in different ways. Five people could see, hear or read the same thing and take five different meanings from it. And they could have 20 different ways of responding to the above mentioned actions.
No response does not always indicate indifference. It can be so very, very many things. From lack of time, to lack of words, to the wrong timing, to all else that may be going on within another person's life at the time.
I have come to believe if I send out words or give something to the world with the best interests of another human being my only motivating factor, I "win" at the game where I don't keep score.
Sometimes good intentions come back to me. Other times they come back to me years later. There are times when they don't come back at all. But I always I feel better for having followed my instincts.
This time, I received a gift. The principal I wrote to took time to respond to my email. It started like this: "Thank you so much for thinking of me and then sending this note. It truly made my day!"
Suddenly, I was reassured. It is right to follow through on those little thoughts when you think of someone in a positive way.
You never know what an impact you can make, simply by being kind. You may be holding the key which has the potential to unlock a window of "happy" into someone's day.
If you are thinking of someone, let them know it. If someone has made a difference, tell them. If someone looks a little down and out, spread a little bit of sunshine into their day. You will not regret it.
Just don't keep score. It negates the goodness you just shared.
"Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.” —Elizabeth Bibesco
