Life is fragile. When we wake up to yet another day in our life-as-we-know-it, we are blessed. That moment, that day is a gift.
I have been spending time with a friend who has been dealt one blow after the other this past year. She is a stubborn soul and one blow didn't knock her off of her feet. But the relentless attack her body is fighting is wearing her down. But you don't see it. At first.
When your body is waging a war within itself, your best defense is a positive attitude and optimism. It may not be a cure all, but it definitely can't hurt. Where there is the will to fight, there is hope. She is a fighter.
The details are not mine to tell, but there are many sides to this disease called cancer that are ugly. The side effects it has on a marriage and relationships, for one. Illness and injuries infect the entire family, not simply the one who is hosting the “party.”
I am not quite certain which is harder,to be the one who is fighting the fight or the challenges on the family. Or to be one on the sidelines trying to do and say all of the right things as the months progress into a new year. The supporting person (people) must also come to terms with all of the changes that are happening within the life (and person) they know well. They are no longer married to the person they once knew.
It is hard enough to deal with an illness that is relatively short term and goes by the “rules.” It is quite another to have things snowball and go in directions you could never foresee. How do you keep picking yourself up and fighting? When the alternative is losing the battle, is there really any other choice than to give your opponent all that you can?
My friend has a brave exterior. The facade rarely cracks but I can see how fragile she is underneath her words. She needs her supporting people to be strong enough to carry her if she falters. She is strong and mighty. This is a person I have come to know as one who can muster the strength it takes to forge on despite the odds. But I also see how vulnerable she is and hear her quiet plea for support.
As I reread these words, I could easily interchange the face of this friend with many, many people I know who are courageously battling the twists and turns they have been dealt in their lives. Many choose to keep the details of their personal stories to themselves. Some reveal only vague hints. Others will tell you a “page” of their story; and there are those who reveal previous chapters of their lives very gingerly after years of trust have been built.
Be gentle with those who cross your path as you wade through your days. Someone you know very well could be waging a war that is not reported on the front pages of their life. You never fully know the impact of your actions and words. I hope I have been spending mine wisely.
