It may have taken the better part of half a century but I am happy to say Valentine's Day no longer magnifies my state of being single.
One Valentine's Day stands out to me. I received a red rose in a swan vase from "the man I loved.” He didn't believe in patronizing and acknowledging the "Hallmark holidays,” so this gift was completely unexpected and it was wonderful.
I have memories of the years when girls at work would receive flowers from the love of their lives. These little aches are par for the course when you are unhappy in your singleness.
I remember my longings as a child. I was quiet, unnoticeable, uncertain and not popular. I remember my quiet wish for a secret valentine. Oh, the longings of a young girl.
Over the years, an average Valentine's Day normally passed without any more hoopla, than making sure I had Valentine cards in the house for my kids to hand out at school.
Then came the year when I felt a little different. I remember seriously considering buying some flowers for myself. I went to the store and was firm in my decision to buy myself some flowers. I would have settled for a rose with baby's breath.
Then I saw the prices. Even for the most basic arrangement, the cost was outrageous. I looked for a single rose. Any of the roses I saw, had long exceeded their "best before" dates.
There were flowers, balloons and chocolates as soon as you entered the store, flowers by the checkouts, flowers in the special seasonal area of the store and flowers in the flower department. But I couldn't find the one flower I was looking for, a fresh bud that would bloom after I took it home. I left the store with my budget intact and the desire for one rose bud with baby's breath unrealized.
When Valentine's Day arrived, I quietly acknowledged the day by lighting some candles and I drank my morning coffee by candlelight. It suddenly dawned on me that "my cup runneth over.”
I am at the point in my life where I have realized my own value. I believe I am worthy of buying myself a flower. I don't need some one's love or opinion of me to validate the fact that I am OK. I have friends and family who celebrate "life" with me. Not just the Hallmark holidays. I am loved.
Happy Valentine's Day, may you be your own Valentine and celebrate yourself and the world you have created.
