When I was a little boy the word “urinate” was not in my lexicon. It was in medical journals. Little boys had more innocuous names for it such as peepee and piddle. The medical term has been used quite often since a video camera captured a man piddling in a mug and emptying the mug in the kitchen of a house belonging to someone else. (Incidentally, the man was a political hopeful intending to carry the banner of the Conservative Party in Election 2015.)
As an ancient male, I have an understanding of the function and dysfunction of human bladders. There is something wrong with the TV clip. If the act was done from unavoidable necessity, a mug could never have been large enough. I opine that the would-be candidate was making a statement, if only to himself. Either he was showing contempt for the owner of the house or for the parliamentary Opposition. Or else – perish the thought! – he was a spy who would, at a later time, use the clip to discombobulate all Conservatives competing for seats in the Commons. His action was socially unacceptable, but was not illegal since he was in a private place. Had he been seen filling the mug on the front step he could have been in serious trouble.
Sometimes it is an urgent necessity for an old man to disappear into an alley to relieve the pressure on an overfull bladder. If he can do so without being seen, he is able to rejoice in a victory over the petty tyrants who manufacture legal barriers to a man doing what a man has gotta do. There will be no legal penalty, although if he is wearing sandals, he may suffer from wet socks.
I am mindful of the ingenuity of the French. Not only do they dine on frogs’ legs, they have things in Paris called “pissoirs.” These conveniences are located on busy thoroughfares. They make it possible for gentlemen, where their nether regions are concealed, to use urinals as they beam in happy relief at citizens who pass by. Vive la France.
All of the forgoing discussion is a useless exercise, a crazy season story that should have no influence on the outcome of an election campaign. We have more serious problems. One is the reform of the Senate. Young Trudeau appears to be the only party leader who understands that any attempt to abolish the Senate would bring about another constitutional crisis. The high command of the Conservative Party appears to have forgotten that it is an amalgam of the former Progressive Conservatives and the Reform Party of Preston Manning, which wanted to see a Triple E Senate. The term means equal, elected and effective.
There is an equal, elected and effective senate in the United States. There is also a silly season. Political pundits are referring to Donald Trump as charismatic. They ought to know that charisma is no antidote for ignorance.
On both sides of the border governments must deal wisely with the same problems – migrants, the slaughter of the innocent by those who murder in the name of their god, overpopulation, environmental degradation and a host of other senseless and persistent cruelties. Sometimes I think the only sane and truly honest man in the global power structure is Pope Francis.
The pope doesn’t live in Canada; we must make do with what we have. In this election the NDP, an avowedly socialistic party, has moved to the right while the centrist Liberals have moved to the left. The Conservatives are mostly same old, same old. A decision must be made. Although my vote will be lost, I think I must cast my ballot for the Green Party. Like the man in the Paris “pissoir,” I will do what I must do.
