Dear Editor
Saskatchewan is currently spending five per cent of its budget on mental health, which is two per cent less than the national average. Mental health receives less funding than physical health, which has greatly affected both my life and my family’s lives.
My mental illness and addiction, which go hand in hand, have been extremely taxing, both emotionally and financially. Living with the stigma attached to mental illness, which has told me that I should be ashamed and am at fault for having an illness, has not been easy.
Stigma makes it difficult for anyone to share their story, no matter what field you work in. At this point I am not ready to go in front of a camera. However, I am choosing to share a piece of creative writing under the pen name of Alice Falling.
Alice Falling: A True Miracle
I called, and they told me they just didn’t have a bed.
It's a true miracle that I am not dead.
Addiction and mental illness, you can’t treat one without the other.
When you start getting sober. depression sets in, why do I even bother?
I’ve tried to push back the pain that comes when you first get sober
And fight the dark thoughts that leave me wishing that it could all be over.
As I write this in a psychiatric unit, I’m fighting feelings of deep shame,
But if I was in cardiology, would people point and blame?
Addiction and mental illness are not just on the street.
It’s happening in your own back yard, even when you keep your lawn so very nice and neat.
This illness does not discriminate based on class, race or gender,
Whether you’re drinking under a bridge or hiding it behind your Power.
Other parts of the country get seven, but we only get five per cent
Without adequate resources, I’m feeling way too overspent.
There’s a party in Saskatchewan that says my life just doesn’t count.
If they say that’s not just true, why can’t mental health get the same amount?
This whole situation is not financially sound,
Three nights monitored by ICU in case my heart ceased to pound.
I called, and they told me they just didn’t have a bed
It’s honestly a true miracle that I’m not dead.
I finally got the call from my addictions worker.
It’s honestly a true miracle, they do have a bed and the long wait is finally over.
Alice Falling (2018)
